“When you show yourself to the world and display your talents, you naturally stir all kinds of resentment, envy, and other manifestations of insecurity. You cannot spend your life worrying about the petty feelings of others.”
As the modern world increasingly exposes us to the criticism of others, it’s more important than ever to protect your energy and stay focused on your own actions.
Here are 10 tips for dealing with the haters.
Our mental state has an enormous correlation with the meaning we assign to a given situation. To help create a positive outcome, ask yourself: What else could this mean? An errant comment mightn’t always be as harsh as it appears. For example, perhaps:
To change your state of mind, get moving. Change your posture, breathing and thinking to align with happiness, love and gratitude—after all, positive motion leads to positive emotion. Avoid or limit your exposure to things that sap your energy.
Napoleon Hill once said, “One of the unappreciated benefits of adversity is that it accelerates the process of identifying your true friends.” If people do not reciprocate your positive energy, take comfort knowing that the quicker they’re out of your life the better.
The world is a big place, yet so many of us cling to friendships that no longer serve us. Channel your energy into supporting those who bring out the best in you, and you in them.
One thing the world will never be short of is opinions. However, criticism and judgement are generally based on the sender’s own insecurities and ego, and it says much more about their character than it does yours. Interestingly, people who support the critics will eventually find out the hard way that those who talk trash on someone will happily do it to everyone.
If someone in your life allows their mind to be possessed with jealousy, envy and resentment, wish them the best and run like the wind.
The most successful people on the planet actively seek out feedback to help them improve. Tech visionary Elon Musk famously said: “Pay attention to negative feedback and solicit it, particularly from friends. Hardly anyone does that, and it’s incredibly helpful.”
A “congratulations” won’t help you, but a specific tip might. Action what you can then willingly discard the rest.
Think about the athlete, entrepreneur, musician or politician you look up to the most. Are they immune from criticism? Absolutely not. In fact, those who make the decision to stand for what they believe in attract a whole swarm of haters. On the naysayers, UFC President Dana White said: “No matter how successful you become, one thing never goes away: negativity. Let it fuel you to get up and fight every day.”
If you’re willing to surrender to the critics, you’re not ready for success.
Today, almost every post comes with a like, share and comment button. This has given every single person, no matter how ill-informed (e.g. internet trolls), a platform to vent their feelings. Instead, revisit your Success Plan—why do you want to achieve everything you’ve got listed? The clearer and more emotionally invested you are on what you want, the more resilient you’ll be.
Opinions comes with the territory, but as you’ve heard me say before: never EVER let those people who have given up on their dreams talk you out of yours.
Too many people go through life wanting to balance the ledger. Yet, all you’re doing is robbing yourself of happiness in the present. As my mum (who continues to prove she’s wise beyond her years) once said after I had been wronged by someone I regarded as a close friend, “It’s not your job to dish out the karma.” She was right.
Stay resolute and focused on your success, and let the universe take care of the rest.
Here’s the hard truth: it’s not everyone else’s job to support you, believe in you, or give you a pat on the back when you feel like you deserve it. For new entrepreneurs, especially, it can be a tough realization that—after investing all your time and money in a venture—the overwhelming support you thought you would receive from your social circle disappears as soon as your product/service is available. In fact, most people would rather buy from a celebrity who they don’t know in favor of supporting their friends.
Rather than let it frustrate you, continue to focus on creating more value and you will quickly attract a large audience of people excited in you.
One of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to help those less fortunate—when you see their faces light up, it will give you gratitude and an instant attitude adjustment. I used to do a lot of work mentoring high school students, and I spoke to one of them last week who is now a successful professional in his early 20s. Of course, I’m immensely proud of the life he’s made for himself, but what made me happiest was hearing that he now volunteers at his old high school to help others.
Pay kindness forward, while the haters hold themselves back.
People are typically jealous of short-term success. The best way to prove them wrong is to continually work on your own version of excellence every single day.
Over time, even the most ardent critic can come to appreciate the sustained effort you took to make your mark on the world.
My challenge to you is to be you. Not a discount version, but your best self. Use your actions to win the day, every day. While others gossip, your results will say more than words ever could.
Onwards and upwards always,
In case you missed it: ‘How to Overcome Bad Days’
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard Baruch
“People will always have an answer for the question they won’t have to answer themselves.” – Conor McGregor
“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” – Will Smith
“One of my greatest weaknesses is also one of my greatest strengths: being underestimated.” – Sara Blakely
“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” – Jim Rohn
“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” – Elbert Hubbard
“To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don’t worry about darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest.” – Napoleon Hill
“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” – Oprah Winfrey
“When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you.” – Marcus Aurelius
“When you show yourself to the world and display your talents, you naturally stir all kinds of resentment, envy, and other manifestations of insecurity. You cannot spend your life worrying about the petty feelings of others.” – Robert Greene
“Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jealousy and self-doubt that blinds them to their own potentiality.” – Steve Maraboli
“Never take constructive criticism from people who haven’t constructed anything.” – John Shin
“I’ve been all over the world and I’ve never seen a statue of a critic.” – Leonard Bernstein
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” – Dale Carnegie
“If anyone can refute me—show me I’m making a mistake or looking at things from the wrong perspective—I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after, and the truth never harmed anyone. What harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance.” – Marcus Aurelius
“The time you spend hating on someone robs you of your own time. You are literally hating on yourself and you don’t even realize it.” – Joe Rogan
“He who has a why can bear almost any how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
“Set your mind on a definite goal and observe how quickly the world stands aside to let you pass.” – Napoleon Hill
“Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots.” – Nishan Panwar
“There will always be haters. And the more you grow the more they hate; the more they hate the more you grow.” – Anthony Liccione
“The purpose of life is finding the largest burden that you can bear and bearing it.” – Jordan Peterson
“Never EVER let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of yours.” – James Whittaker
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” – Winston S. Churchill
“Put your foot on the neck of criticism by reaching a decision not to worry about what other people think, do or say.” – Napoleon Hill
“There will be haters, there will be doubters, there will be non-believers, and then there will be you proving them wrong.” – Jennifer Van Allen
“Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.” – Jordan Peterson
“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” – Marcus Aurelius
“I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” – Booker T. Washington
“The best way to counter-attack a hater is to make it blatantly obvious that their attack has had no impact on you.” – Tim Ferriss
“Action is the real measure of intelligence.” – Napoleon Hill
“A critic is a legless man who teaches other people to run.” – Channing Pollock
“I don’t worry about the haters. They are just angry because the truth I speak contradicts the lie they live.” – Steve Maraboli
“It’s easy to attack and destroy an act of creation. It’s a lot more difficult to perform one.” – Chuck Palahniuk
“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.” – Jim Rohn
“Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.” – Jordan Peterson
“Haters are all failures. It’s 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.” – Joe Rogan
“Learn to use the criticism as fuel and you will never run out of energy.” – Orrin Woodward
“When you are able to maintain your own highest standards of integrity—regardless of what others may do—you are destined for greatness.” – Napoleon Hill
“People work better when they know what the goal is and why.” – Elon Musk
“I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.” – Drake
“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” – Henry Ford
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” – Oprah Winfrey
“I don’t have time, energy, or interest in hating the haters; I’m too busy loving the lovers.” – Steve Maraboli
“No matter how successful you become, one thing never goes away: negativity. Let it fuel you to get up and fight every day.” – Dana White
“The only thing more frustrating than slanderers is those foolish enough to listen to them.” – Chris Jammi
“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.” – Abraham Lincoln
“Don’t believe me? Just watch.” – Bruno Mars
“Haters don’t really hate you, they hate themselves; because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be.” – Yaira N. Juan
“We must all wage an intense, lifelong battle against the constant downward pull. If we relax, the bugs and weeds of negativity will move into the garden and take away everything of value.” – Jim Rohn
“The more successful you become, the more haters you get.” – Daymond John
New Facebook Group:
Join our brand new Facebook Group ‘Win the Day‘ and surround yourself with positive energy!
“I am the greatest. I said that before I even knew I was.”
What do world-beaters like Muhammad Ali, Beyoncé Knowles, Lady Gaga, Bruce Lee, Conor McGregor and Jim Carrey all have in common? They recognize that ALL success starts by filling your mind with greatness.
You might have heard some variant of the quote: The path to success is to take massive, determined action. However, most people leap in headfirst, ignoring the critical first step of creating a comprehensive unique definition of what success looks like to them. As Dale Carnegie reminded us: “An hour of planning can save you 10 hours of doing.”
A clear plan gives you the mental fortitude to make the right choice in the many decisions you are faced with each day, resulting in more willpower, passion, persistence and other essential ingredients needed for long term achievement. Along the way, resources of all kinds that you need for your journey—such as people, finances and inspiration—will appear, as if by magic.
Once you’ve filled your mind with greatness and have a comprehensive definition of what success looks like to you, bridge the gap between dreams and reality through the process of autosuggestion:
Remember, you don’t need to believe it immediately, as Bob Proctor noted in Think and Grow Rich: The Legacy. Through this process, complemented with daily action, champions are increasingly bolstered for success while those indifferent to their destination are lured to mediocrity.
In January 1969, aspiring actor Bruce Lee wrote out his clear definition of success (below). Today, he is remembered as the world’s most iconic martial artist, a global film star and cultural phenomenon.
On autosuggestion, Lady Gaga said: “It’s sort of like a mantra. You repeat it to yourself every day: ‘Music is my life, music is my life. The fame is inside of me, I’m going to make a number one record with number one hits.’ And it’s not yet, it’s a lie. You’re saying a lie over and over and over again, and then, one day the lie is true.”
Before he became a household name, film star Jim Carrey would often sit in the Hollywood Hills and look out over the city, visualizing how one day renowned directors and other people he respected would praise him for his work. In 1992, he went one step further, writing himself a $10 million check for “acting services rendered.” Dating it three years in the future, Carrey kept the check in his wallet where it would stare back at him numerous times each day, while he worked tirelessly to bring his goal to life.
Just before Thanksgiving 1995, the entertainer was given a film role that paid him $10 million. By constantly focusing on what he wanted most, Carrey made his dream a reality.
Having your mind constantly focused on what you want is an essential step to actually achieving it. Whether it’s Muhammad Ali declaring he is the greatest before history agreed, Bruce Lee demanding worldwide fame, Lady Gaga visualizing her meteoric rise, Beyoncé exercising in front of an Academy Award picture, Conor McGregor dreaming big despite his dismal amateur record, or Jim Carrey writing himself a $10 million check, convince your mind it’s a simple choice: win or perish.
Model the habits of high performers. Demand success, expect it, and let the universe show you the way forward.
Onwards and upwards always,
In case you missed it:
How to Turn Failure into Victory … and a Billion-dollar Empire
“The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them.”
I’ve just returned to Los Angeles after a three-week book tour of Australia. For those who missed the Today Show interview, you can check it out below. A big thank you to all of you for your continued support.
Today, let’s talk about the winner’s mindset. Although it might seem counter-intuitive, champions in any field are forged in their response to failure.
We all face adversity—every one of us. Those with a fixed mindset use it as an excuse to give up and crawl further into their ever-shrinking shell. Yet, those with a growth mindset use every failure as a stepping stone to greatness.
Whether we acknowledge it or not, we are where we are because of our decisions to this point. By simply accepting personal responsibility and taking ownership of our lives, we significantly increase our power to change. This can apply to anything, whether it’s underperforming on a university course, being passed over for a promotion at work or failing with a fitness goal.
The fixed mindset comes from stagnation. In contrast, the growth mindset comes from having an end goal in mind and then nurturing our abilities through ongoing care and attention—avid readers of my newsletter might recognize this as “simple and consistent action.”
In her groundbreaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, author Carol Dweck showed that from a young age the brain can be trained to grow and improve, like a muscle. Once our limiting beliefs are gradually replaced with the growth mindset, we find it easier to take actions that keep us striving for ever-greater success. This builds bulletproof confidence and creates unparalleled resilience.
In 1964, after campaigning for racial equality, a South African man was given a life sentence and thrown in prison to rot. Rather than giving up, he began studying Afrikaans with the hope of building mutual respect with his captors and converting them to his cause.
Twenty-seven years later, Nelson Mandela was released from prison. After his impassioned pleas for equality caught hearts and minds around the world, he was elected President of South Africa—the first non-white head of state in the country’s history. Reflecting on his extraordinary life, he famously said: “I never lose. I win or I learn.”
In 2010, an unknown fighter taps the canvas. Conceding defeat, his opponent releases the devastating chokehold. With the embarrassing loss, a mere 38 seconds into the first round, the aspiring fighter’s record now stood at a paltry four wins and two losses. Rather than let another setback define him, he continued to hone his skills. An eight-fight win streak caught the eye of Dana White and the Irishman was signed to the UFC.
Five years after the humiliating loss, he defeated José Aldo, one of the greatest fighters of all time, in 13 seconds—the fastest finish in UFC title fight history. The following year, his coach John Kavanagh released a book documenting the extraordinary journey with his star pupil entitled “Win or Learn”, echoing Mandela’s fortitude. Today, Conor McGregor is one of the highest paid athletes on the planet.
Oprah Winfrey was deemed “unfit for television.” Steve Jobs was removed from the company he founded. J.K. Rowling was fired from her job as a secretary. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. The list goes on.
True champions have a growth mindset and never accept temporary failure as permanent defeat. Instead, they prepare a vivid, detailed plan for success and get to work on winning the day. To create a growth mindset:
Onwards and upwards always,
PS – Here is a free download of the bonus chapter from Think & Grow Rich: The Legacy, showing how simple mindset shifts catapulted ordinary people to extraordinary achievement.